How to Drop Emotional Baggage to Move On

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Learn to Release The Emotional Baggage

Emotional baggage refers to any unresolved conflicts and negative past experiences that we accumulate and affects our well-being.

We all carry an emotional suitcase, so you should not feel bad about it, at some point we go through conflicting relationships or suffer the ravages of life, but it is always possible to face and overcome them.

However, that does not mean that we cannot do great things, which is why in this article we will give you a series of tips so that you learn to gradually let go of that emotional baggage that oppresses you to move forward.

How is our emotional baggage filled?

Our suitcase tends to fill up little by little, without realizing it, so if we don't take care of eliminating emotional garbage from time to time, at some point it will become an obstacle.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, for example, often means carrying deep emotional wounds from a traumatic childhood.

However, although we grew up in a functional family, the fears, insecurities, and anxieties of our parents can be part of an emotional inheritance that we carry without realizing it.

Friendship or partner relationships can also leave emotional wounds that are difficult to heal, especially if we feel betrayed, abandoned, humiliated, or belittled by precisely that person who should be a source of support and affection.

Of course, life experiences that trigger psychological trauma can also be part of our emotional suitcase. An unresolved duel, an accident with consequences, or being a victim of bullying are situations that can affect us.

The 3 Signs That Your Emotional Baggage Is Holding You Back

Spotting emotional baggage is often not easy, as people become so used to their weight that they are unaware of its existence. However, there are some signs that we are carrying some problems from the past that we must get over at once:

1. Emotional coldness

People who have been betrayed or hurt in the past often develop a protective shell to prevent them from being hurt again.

This shell unfolds in the form of emotional detachment. However, while building walls can protect us, it also prevents us from forming deeper emotional bonds and therefore limits our ability to enjoy and share with others or even maintain lasting relationships.

If you've been told that you're "too closed off," it's probably a sign that you need to shed some of your emotional baggage.

2. Fear of compromise

If we find it difficult to commit to someone, it is probably due to some negative experience from the past that we keep dragging around in our emotional suitcase.

If we developed an avoidant attachment style because our parents were not emotionally available or adequately met our needs, we are likely to distrust others and reject their support.

It will also prevent us from committing and putting down roots because, deep down, we are afraid of abandonment. If we believe that no one is trustworthy enough, we will end up sabotaging our relationships before they even start.

3. Emotional hyperactivity

The contents that we carry in our emotional baggage influence our reactions and decisions without our realizing it. They infiltrate virtually every sphere of our lives.

For this reason, they often express themselves through excessive reactions to circumstances that do not bother other people.

This is because we are projecting past negative experiences onto the present moment, reacting more to what happened to us than to what is happening.

In fact, if you tend to overdo it, you may have to dig through your emotional backpack to find the cause.

How to free ourselves from the emotional baggage that blocks us?

The way we handle our emotional baggage is what makes the difference. We can let these experiences define or process us, accept them, and move on.

In fact, radical acceptance is a particularly useful technique for alleviating the suffering associated with such painful or traumatic experiences.

It is essential to look at the past, take responsibility for the mistakes we have made, stop blaming ourselves for things that were out of our control, and let go of recriminations that lead nowhere.

We will not be able to get rid of these experiences, but we will lighten their weight so that they do not determine our lives.

A good starting point

Pay more attention to your emotional triggers, those reactions that repeat themselves over and over again. So we will have to delve into our past to find the situation, or situations, that set the precedent.

After detecting its cause, we must understand that the emotional response pattern that is automatically activated is not valid for all situations.

However, we must remember that there is no other way to deal with the "monsters from the past" than by facing them.

This process may seem terrifying and we may feel especially vulnerable for reliving an experience that hurt us, but it is important to do it anchored in the present, with the certainty that we are no longer the same person.

This will give us the necessary security to move forward in this emotional cleansing process.

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